Many Years Experience
Young Adults
Counselling young adults in Buckinghamshire
Get in touch with Barrie Hopwood
for more details about my counselling sessions. I am based in Beaconsfield.
Giving young adults the help they need
Much of my counselling and psychotherapy work over the last 30 years has been with young adults (clients aged between 18 and 35). The core of this work is captured by REM’s lyrics reprinted below; the song will resonate not only with young adults who may be experiencing difficulties in their lives and who are looking for help, but also to their parents, families, partners and friends who may be affected by these difficulties and who may be struggling to know how to help.
“Everybody Hurts”
When your day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this life, well hang on
Don’t let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
I believe the words above address the sense of the despair, hopelessness, loneliness and confusion which many of us older adults recognise through our own experiences as young adults. Today - more than ever before – I worry that the day to day life of the majority of young people is encapsulated by ‘Everybody Hurts’ in a social media world where photos of happy people and vacuous self-referential comments become the mainstay of social life.
Are you familiar with any of the following?
Existential angst (no future. what’s the point?) self-harm, depression, severe anxiety, addictions (drugs, food, drink, gambling, pornography), abusive relationships, self-image or self-confidence issues? Oh…. and did I forget to mention exam pressures, no professional or career direction, no money, problems with the landlord or landlady. Can I suggest that those of you who carry the burden of being young in an age when youth does not equate with happiness, especially if you don’t have anyone to lean on in the dark times, seek help to help yourselves? Often people sabotage taking that first step saying ‘I’ve left it too late’. Not at all! It is never too late once you have reached out to another human being and acknowledged that the pain is too much to bear. Just feel gratitude that in your compassion towards yourself you are doing it now and not 10 years from now. Why wait until you are 40…or 50….or 60….make a start today.
Post-script for parents of adult children
Of course you love your children unconditionally and always will. Of course your happiness is primarily determined by their happiness. Of course you would do anything to help them to ’get through’ the dark and turbulent times of young adulthood. If you are reading this then I take it for granted that the propositions above are fundamental (although some children are less fortunate in their parents than your sons and daughters).
Can I also assume that you are desperate to understand why, in spite of the above, you are struggling to connect with your adult children, muttering ‘She should have grown out of it by now…how long will it last?’ or ‘Where did we go wrong?’ Perhaps you are facing dark fears about the mental health of your child and asking yourself ‘Does she have a problem with drugs or alcohol?’ or ‘what if he can’t change because he is autistic/ has ADHD?’ or ‘she’s confused about her sexuality/ suffers from an eating disorder/depression/OCD/severe anxiety/PTSD from childhood trauma etc. etc.’ Your fears may be endless and you may feel powerless to help or protect and completely lost as you look for someone to turn to.
If these words resonate with you as a parent I look forward to hearing from you.
Address: Barrie Hopwood
Jordans Quaker Centre
Welders Lane
Jordans
Beaconsfield
HP9 2SN
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